Links



If you were looking for the Jap videogame character, this is not the page for you. Instead, try this page. Oh, sorry, I meant this page. This page is about the sort of links that cover this wiki and generally make it difficult for you to click without ending up somewhere where you did not want to go.

The Meaning Of Life Links
The 1st thing to do is to establish what links are NOT. A common misconception is that links are a kind of deodrant. This is not true, although after clicking certain links one may feel in need of a wash - at least for the eyes, anyway. Well, as you know what links are NOT, now it is time to find out what they are... DUN DUN DUUUH...

The Meaning Of Links Part II
Most people think of links as part of a chain, joining everything together. This is quite true - links are what allows the general public to get to websites in the 1st place. Think - how did you get here? I somehow doubt that you typed in the somewhat obscure URL. Maybe you did, but I think not... Anyway, this article must not go off-topic. The usefulness of links can never be underestimated, as you will know from endless trawling of Google Search results. In fact, there is a link song to celebrate their immense value:

One barely even thinks

Where we would be without links

To guide us on our Web-surfing way.

From researching Geography

To jacking off to pornography

Without them we would be in dismay.

Links, links, links, links, oh links and URL,

Without them our web-surfing life would be total living hell,

Thank the lucky man who thought of this wonderful invention,

Then copyright it for yourself, as is the convention.

I hope you liked that little song from Doctor Karoushima's Book Of Internet Songs.

History
One day, back in the early days of the Web, a Canadian was attempting to get to the homepage of Canada's History (he was looking up a boiled dinner recipe) and could not remember the URL. In those days, of course, Canada's History had a different name, and so he just typed in the old name, hoping to find the recipe, which was at that time on the homepage. Instead, he ended up finding a picture of something rather unsavoury, but still extremely desirable, and spent his evening solidly masturbating. When his wife asked for the recipe, she heard the response "BOILED MEATBALL SAUSAGE CREAM" and they both ended up with a disgusting dinner. The next day, the wife decided to find the real recipe, and similarly happened to StumbleUpon the aforementioned image. Obviously, a woman's reaction to such an image is rather different from a man's, and, after screaming the house down, decided that something must be done, called on the help of Bill Gates. Bill told her to fuck off, so she called Steve Jobs, who also refused to do anything because the computer had Windows installed and he was squeamish about seeing inside his inventions. Eventually, the wife decided that she would have to call on Doctor Karoushima for help, and he told her about his latest idea to join websites together, called a hyperlink. The wife was thrilled, and she made a Word document with a link to the homepage of Canada's History. Well, what could it use other than words? Of course, the Canadian was enraged by the loss of his excuse to masturbate, but it turned out that his wife was a feminist and as a result sent him to a place so terrible to any Canadian that they have nightmares about it. Soon, through the wife's blabbing, links had spread through the Web, and now they cover this website, just like many other pieces of unfunny garbage all over the world.

Link humour
Link humour is the use of links to cause laughter, or occasionally even lulz. This website is full of excessive link humour to the point where it appears to be the only kind of humour on the website. There are 2 ways to get the full effect of link humour - click on every link on the website (extremely unadvisable), or simply hover your cursor over the link and see what you would see if you did click on the link. Of course, if you want to trick people into going onto shock sites, then link humour can be very useful indeed...

Examples of external links
These links have been rated by the MPAA.

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Main_Page

Rating: R

http://www.ruckasworld.com/welcome.htm

Rating:R

http://www.thelonelyisland.com/

Rating:R

http://www.4chan.org/

Rating: Do you seriously think we will give a rating to this website? Oh, alright, NC-17. Obviously, you will not accept that rating, because no one will ever go on your website...well, they do, but those are just people who do not look at ratings.