Life

Life is the state that you are in now, otherwise you would not be able to read this and would be in Hell. Life is unfair, and good things happen to bad people, like Caligula. Most nerds feel that having to live with the general public is a rum do, and feel that they should all go and live in special nerd colonies. However, this is not necessarily true: normal people can be easily tricked into clicking links to shock sites, or even deals that can win them $1,000,000.



The Meaning Of Life
It seems that you did not click on the link, otherwise you would be either running to Mommy, using the images for your own vandal schemes or chronically masturbating to them. Now it is time to move on to the most important thing of all - the meaning of life. The answer can be found in the Monty Python film of the same name, so go and watch it to find out. Go on, buy the DVD from my store! Honestly! It will tell you everything...well, almost everything...

Oh, alright, I shall tell you for free. Just scroll SLOWLY down to the bottom of the link you really should not click. Wait, I see an oppurtunity for an overused angel-devil talk here...

Angel: Do not click on the link! It will scar you for life!

Devil: Go on! Do it! What harm can Goatse do you?

Angel: But it is not just Goatse! There is Tubgirl! And Lemonparty!

Devil: A few shock images will do you no harm! Just go and take a look!

Angel: No! No! Think of the children!

Devil: Yes! Yes! Think of Kids In the Sandbox!

Click or shy. Make your choice.

Getting a life
It turns out that some people do not actually have a life. It is also quite likely that you do not have a life, otherwise you would not be reading this. Caligula also had no life until quite recently, when he bought one from a local shop. Lives are on sale on Ebay, but these lives are usually broken, faulty or already used by gaming nerds. Amazon provides better lives, but by buying them you will be supporting the cooperacies. Lives can be bought locally, if you can just get Away From Keyboard...alternatively, if you are just too much of an Ultra-Nerd to leave your keyboard, Frank Butcher gives lives away for free at his website.