Religion

Do you think that man alone can solve the woes of the world? If you think so, you are sapient. If not, you either have a religion or are a feminist. If you are a feminist, GET OFF THIS WEBSITE BECAUSE THERE ARE NO WOMEN ON THE WEB, ONLY TRANSSEXUALS. Otherwise, Caligula would like to tell you that you are an absolute retard, because every nerd knows that the only true faith is Pastafarianism, and the Flying Spaghetti Monster is too drunk to do anything about anything except helping pirates to hijack oil tankers. If you are a pirate, Caligula apologises, because he knows how difficult it is to walk down the streets of Mogadishu and have everyone sing "Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum" when one cannot drink alcohol anyway.

History
In the beginning, there was no religion, only science. People had knowledge of everything, with no retards to get in their ways. The Flying Spaghetti Monster was looking after his cows, preparing them for McDonalds. He was going to have a Canadian round for a banquet, so he decided to cook some boiled dinner to make him happy. He mixed together the cabbage, sprouts and nuclear waste, then went outside to look down on his wonderful people. Unfortunately, he had left the door to the cow pens open, and a large number of bulls escaped. They broke in to where the boiled dinner was cooking, and devoured the lot. When the Flying Spaghetti Monster returned, there was not so much as a beta-particle of boiled dinner left, and the cows had been struck with the dreaded boiled-dinner flatulence, causing vast amounts of gas to cover all of Heaven, even gassing the stripper factory. However, the flying Spaghetti Monster knew that this was not the worst part. Soon, the bulls would defecate all over the place, and destroy everything. Something had to be done, and the Flying Spaghetti Monster acted on impulse. He drove the bulls to Mosey's Ladder so they would shit into Hell, but he had made a critical misunderoverestimation. The bullshit flew all over the world, splattering everyone with foul boiled-dinner faeces. Then, after lying on the ground for some time, everyone rose and started to spout rubbish about "The Qu'Ran" and "The Bible". Only a few nerds, who had been on the toilet anyway when the explosion occured, stayed free, and still do to this day.

How to identify a religious person
If you want to find out if someone is religious, use the following procedure.

Is your subject an asylum inmate? If so, he is probably religious.

Does your subject go to any place of worship for reasons other than to smash it up? If so, he is probably religious.

Does your subject babble on about spiritual things? If so, he is probably religious... you have probably got the idea now.

If your subject does none of these things, he is not religious and is therefore probably a nerd.

Use the page "Nerd" for the Nerd Spotter's Guide.

Examples of religions
Christianity

Islam - you can find the link on this page! Keep looking!

Judaism

Buddhism

Sikhism

Hinduism

Ching-Chang-Chongism

Scientology

Magic

Click on these at your own risk. You may be badly offended...